| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2006|03:38 am] |
|
so i am still waiting for our song to get posted up on our my space.and also ijust sent an email to jaxx night club.because they need an opening band from the area to open up for god forbid and goatwhore in febuary.so hopefully we will get that show because that whould be badass and i whould love it.but thats it.o yea and just in case you chould not tell this is kinda both my personal lj as well as i will also post random information about CAUSTIC from time to time.random infprmation one.,.......WE FUCKING ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!you should hear us we kick ass. |
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| goin back to school |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|06:07 am] |
| [ | music |
| | dog the bounty hunter theme song | ] |
ok so i decided that i am gonna quit working at pizza hut.infact when i go in tomorrow morning i am puttingmy 2 weeks in.and i am gonna take some time off from working anywhere and try to go back to school.either high school or my ged.i guess it is a good idea.i think it is a good idea.there are a few people out there who think it is stupid.one of my friends asked me what i whould be doing differently right now even if i did have my ged or dipolma...samething really.well i told him that i whould be in the fire dept training academy.and then he went on and on and on about how he was a manager and how they did not ask him for any of that and i told him str8 up...motherfucker you worked at blockbuster that is different than the fire department.i cant eveen take a class at the academy without having my dipolma or equivilent.so i decided that i am done with working and that i am gonna just go back to school.i am gonna try and attend lackey seeing taht whould be my homeschool but weather or not i actually am able to attend is another story.if not i willjust have to settle for my ged.which in that case whould any one help me if i needed it?anyway thats it see ya later. |
|
|
| fucking bullshit shit |
[Dec. 5th, 2006|04:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hatebreed-the rise of brutality | ] |
so i am still searching for someone to spend sometime with.and i am almost half way to giving up.i am just so tired of girls and all the bullshit they bring.one says they are tired of guys who say one thing and do another.andthen she turns around and does the samething she says she hates.she said she is tired of guys who lie and cheat and hurt her.well it seems like she is just being hypocritical.because she chose some douche bag over me.and now she is alone again.and i still wanna talk to her.i guess thats just me.....being stupid.am i that nice of a guy that most girls wont date me?or am i just that un attractive?o well i am done with bullshit and done ranting about bullshit. |
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|
| writing |
[Nov. 30th, 2006|06:37 am] |
| [ | music |
| | new second sunrise song | ] |
ok so i have been writing pretty much non stop for like 2 days and have like 3 songs to show for it.but they are pretty decent songs.defenetly turning over a new leaf.they are pretty positive lyrics.
"familia"
"it's time"
"looking back"
there will be more to follow but these will do for now.i'll put the lyrics up here as soon as the songs are done.and hopefully if you goto the show on the 22 hopefully they will be played.but anyway it is late and i have to be at work early in the morning.so i am gonna bounce up outta here. |
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| changes |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|06:54 am] |
alright so i am not moving to florida anymore.i amtired of running away from myfucking problems.when all i need to do is face them head on.i am just trying to really turn everything around here latly....from negative to positive.i dont care about the past anymore.the past is the past.anyone who fucked me over in the past it doesnt bother anymore.
no onto other subjects....i joined a band.i am the vocalist and it is a hardcore band.it use to be a punk band but they wanted to change their sound i guess.so they added me and my friend ray.they use to be called the truthful ones but now they are called caustic.i always wanted that for a band name since i heard it in ninth grade english class.i think it fits a hardcore band very good.and let me tell ya what it is gonna be brutal.we have a show coming up in december on the 22 at my brothers place.hopefully we are ready bcause i really dont wanna have to cancel it.but after that it will probably be more practice and then more shows but thats all in the future we can only go one day at a time.and right now we need to finsih these songs.we have bits and pieces of a few songs.and i am currently writing some pretty banging lyrics.so yea thats that.
matt
myspace.com/thetruthfulones
thesongs up on the site do not have me on them.but we will post some new ones as soon as possiable. |
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| moving |
[Nov. 6th, 2006|06:33 am] |
so i wsas thinking about what i should do.and i have decideed to move to florida.i mean it wont bother anyone.because i told everyone and only a few people have sai dthey wanted me to stay.and only one or 2 of the right people have told me so as of right now sometime after the holidays i will be in florida.probably by march so yea thats it. |
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| something about her |
[Nov. 2nd, 2006|05:24 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | back in reality | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | anberlin-change the world | ] |
i woke up this morning.
thought i was dreaming.
thought i was still drunk.
but you were still laying next to me.
it was all a big surprise.
you dont know what you do to me.
when you string me along like this.
but when i woke up next to you.
i felt complte for the first time in a long time.
i've been looking for the words to explin all day long.
but everytime i get close the words fall apart.
i told myself that i whould let go and never think twice.
but it felt so nice not sleeping alone.
thats the change i ahve been looking for in my life.
you dont know what you do to me.
when you string me along like this.
but when i woke up next to you.
i felt complete for the first time in a long time.
i know this all means nothing.
but it is something i have to say.
i know you really dont care.
but i dont care either.
i've never opened up to you before.
and i dont think i ever will.
but if you ever change your mind i just want you to know.
i whould never hurt you.
i whould never do you wrong.
you dont know what you do to me.
when you string me along like this.
but when i woke up next to you.
i felt complete for the first time in a long time. |
|
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| 83 in a 50 |
[Oct. 31st, 2006|04:44 am] |
| [ | music |
| | hollywood undead-scene for dummies | ] |
ok so yesterday i woke up at what i thought was 8 am.i thought toi my self o fuck i am late for work.so i hop up outta bed throw my clothes on and head out the door.well i was headed out to work and when i was like less than a mile away from work i look in my rearview and who is on my ass.....chrles county sherrif.so i slow down and then he hits the lights a nd sirens and thats it i am fucked i am in big shit now.well he walks up to my car does all the bullshit cops have to do nd he asked me for my licsense...yea sure i'll give you my licsense......o fuck wait a minute it is in the pocklet of my other pants...sorry officer i do not hav e my licsense.so he took my registrationa nd went back to the car and ran a check.so much to check for right? well he comes back and explains that i was going 33 miles over the speed limit.and tells me it is a 250 dollar fine and 5 points on y licsense and a court date.so he tells me that gets me all upset and then he is like i am not gonna give you a ticket for speeding.i am gonna give yo one for driving without your licsense tho.so that was my first experince with getting pulled over and it was not very fun.i was going 83 miles an hour in 50 zone on hawthorne road i la plata just a bout a mile from fucking pizza hut and i almost made it.....damn |
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| LOSING |
[Oct. 27th, 2006|12:54 pm] |
every step i take.
another piece of me falls.
it's an everyday occurence.
it feels like i am falling apart.
theres just nothing left inside of me.
nothing strikes me anymore.
nothing left to fight for.
i feel like an addict.
losing my heart.
losing my life for just an hour of bliss.
i'm tired of the nights.
staying up until dawn.
blood shot eyes and wiskey on my breath.
i'm tired of being someone i am not.
it's all just to much for me to handle.
tired of running this rat race.
i just want to walk at my own pace. |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2006|01:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | taylor swift-tim mcgraw | ] |
so i have just been sitting around my house the past couple of weeks and been feeling kinda down.the feeling that iusually get when the weather changes.when the fall comes rushing in.i try to hold on to everything and try to resurect memeories from ashes.but then it dawns on me.....nothing stays the same so i amjust depressed fore no reason .and in the long run nothing will matter in the end except for what i have accomplished.......except i have not accomplished anything.i mean i am high school dropout.have not taken my fire 1 class yet have not taken my emt-b class yet.i mean everything i thought i ight have done by now i have not gotten anywhere.i mean what am i doing?why am i even here ya know.it is just so hard doin the same thing day in and day out.working a job i fucking hate.i mean i have lost contact with everyone i know.i have not seen my friends in so long.i miss hanging out with everyone at mbp.i miss hanging out with everyone at gp.haha walking the halls all day long with a few people........9th grade earth science class ;) i miss everything.i have not talked to anyone from gp in so long.the very few people i wanted to stay in contact with i have not heard anything from them.i have not talked to sarah in god knows how long.i miss her so much.i wish i whould have hung out with her before she left for school because now it is so hard to get in touch with people.because i work everyday and and by the time i get home i dont wanna talk to anyone so dont talk to to many people.but there are a few people that ireally really miss.i have recent been using myspace to get in touch with peole from my past.and i am looking at tere pages and noticeing hoe everyone has changed.but i guess eeryone changes.but some of these people i use to be really close with and now it is like i send them a friend request and they are like do i know you? it fucking sucks.i wish i had more time off.because right now i am off one day a week and that is sunday.and that one day off is usulaly spent sleeping or doing pretty much what i am doing now whch to me seemslike a waste of time because this shit does not change anything.bitching about shit changes nothing.but i wish i chould just build a time machine and go abck and change everything i have let go,change all my mistalkes i havmade over the years.not fall for some of the sytupid shit i have falling for.man i really need to fucking sleep i need to be at work at 10 tomorrow because hey i am a loser and do nothing but fiucking work........... |
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| not done yet but tell me what you think. |
[Sep. 11th, 2006|11:04 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | the ataris-boys of summer | ] |
i miss the late night phone conversations.
every toxic kiss breathig new life into me
made me feel alive when i was so close to being dead.
but everything changed and everything fell apart.
(always refernce the one song.that one night.
always bring up the old days.and wish for
another chance.)
everything is different but it still hurts sometimes
hurts to talk to you every now and then. |
|
|
| JUST A FEW SONGS I'VE BEEN DIGGING LATELY |
[Jul. 27th, 2006|05:39 am] |
| [ | music |
| | FACE DOWN-THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS | ] |
FACE DOWN-THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS
Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go and say your right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has.
One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming round again.
(repeat)
Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the grown?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..
MY IMMORTAL-EVANESSENCE
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
but if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
'cause your prescence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have...all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face, it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice, it's chased away
all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me
i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along
when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have...all of me
all of me
all of me
all...
AFI-THE LEAVING SONG PT 1
walked away,
heard them say,
poison hearts will never change
walk away again
turned away in disgrace
felt the chill upon my face
cooling from within
hard to notice
gleaming from the sky
when your staring at the cracks
hard to notice
what is passing by
with eyes low, Oh
walked away
heard them say
poison hearts will never change
walk away again
all the cracks they lead right to me
and all the cracks will crawl right through me
all the cracks they lead right to me
and all the cracks will crawl right through me
and they'll part
As I
TO THE THRESHOLD-HATEBREED
This Is The Sound Of The Lost,
The Beaten And Broken,
Rising Up and finding what has been,
Taken From Us, From The Shadows Of The Past,
From The Depth Of Our Own Failures,
Slipping Forward Into The lies,
Denying Our Demise,
Descamanting What Was Eternity
But Which You Only You Can With Tearing Apart Me,
Give Me Your Broken,
Give Me Your Beaten,
I Will Buld Them Up,
I Will Lead Them,
To The Threshold,
Make You Stronger,
Make You Believe,
I Am One In The Same,
But Now Im Stronger Than Eternity,
Within This Army,
This Is More Than A Battlecry,
Its The Blood Of My Lifeline,
Growing Faster,
This Is The Sound Of The Lost,
The Beaten And Brocken,
Descemating Your Fears,
Stronger Than Ever,
Behind Every Dream, The Young Have Retrieved/Reprieved
Accention, Reducing/Producing Prophecies, OR Instinctions Linked To Supremacy
Now We're Stronger Than Ever,
Stronger Than Ever,
Give Me Your Broken,
Give Me Your Beaten,
I Will Buld Them Up,
I Will Lead Them,
To The Threshold,
To The Threshold,
This Is More Than A Battlecry,
We Were The Broken,
We Were The Beaten,
I Was Once Like You,
Now I Push Myself To The Threshold,
Because I Am Stronger,
Because I Believe,
Now I Spit The Face Of Defeat,
Now Stronger Than All Incertainty.
HATE ME-BLUE OCTOBER
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say you that love me just to put in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes bright and I held your face in my hand
And then fell down yelling “make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like is used to be
And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?”
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
SO THESE ARE JUST A FEW SONGS I HAVE BEEN TURNING TO FOR INSPIRATION LATELY.THERE SONGS FROM OTHER PEOPLES HEARTS BUT THEY HELP ME PULL SHIT FROM MY HEART AND I HAVE BEEN WRITING SOMNE REAL HEARTFELT AND PERSONAL SHIT LATELY HOPEFULLY SOON IT WILL ALL PAY OFF. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2006|04:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | artistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | candlebox-far behind | ] |
so i wanted to go into the studio early in the summer or late in the spring but it never happend but thats ok because i have been writing a batch of new lyrics to get straight and then hopefully sometime in the fall or winter go into the studio with someone who can pay guitar and record an acoustic ep or maybe even a full length.but i have been writing some of what i think are the most personal lyrics i have written in a very loing time maybe even ever.but as soon as i find someone to play guitar w ewill start working on the songs maybe play a few shows and then go into the studio.i whould like to go in sometime hopefully in the mid to late fall and have something out and done by spring 07 but nothing ever goes as planned so we will see.until then to the one person who actually reads this....peace love and everything else. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2006|12:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the ataris-boys of summer | ] |
so it has been a little while since i updated bt thats ok because no one actually reads this.but things were looking better but now there not any more.it is the same old shit day in an day out.the same routine everyday wake up work goto bed and then get up the next day and do the same.my job fucking sucks it is the same thing over and over again.i work everyday and it just doesnt seem worth it to me.6.15 an hour only gets me so far.and i have a 167 dollar car insurance payment due every month.but even thats worthless because my car fucking broke the other day so i cant even drive it so i am paying for pretty much nothing righht now which sucks.i have not done half the things i wanted to thois summer.i have not gone to the beach,i have not done anything.i dont think i am gonna do anything but work my fucking dead end job for the super minimum wage.i never have any money to do anything so i just work.and when i do have money to go out i have to work.i cantg wait til ozzfest so i can finally enjoy myself this summer.but thats still 2 weeks away.and it is gonna be a long 2 weeks.because before ozzfest we have to go through july 29th which i would like to not see that day but i am gonna.so thats pretty much it i am gonna go now i have to go to work so yea bye. |
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|
| "TIME" |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|11:19 pm] |
THEY SAY THAT TIME HEALS EVERY WOUND.WELL HOW
MUCH TIME BEFORE I FEEL HUMAN AGAIN?MY CONDOLENCES
HAVE BEEN SENT.YET WE STILL MOURN THIS LOSS.AN
EMPTY HOLE IN MY CHEST WHERE MY HEART USE TO BE.
BUT WHEN YOU LEFT YOU TOOK WHAT LITTLE HEART I HAD
LEFT.
I'M BREATHLESS.
I'M HEARTLESS.
AND SORROW IS MY MOOD OF THE DAY.
LEFT IN THE WAKE OF A NEVERENDING
MISTAKE.I'D GIVE MY LAST BREATH JUST
TO SAY I'M SORRY.
TIME IS SOMETHING I DONT WANT TO DEAL
WITH.IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR.AND I STILL
FEEL THE SAME OLD STING OF REGRET.SO
TELL ME HOW MUCH TIME DOES IT TAKE TO
HEAL THIS OPEN WOUND?HOW MUCH TIME DOES
IT TAKE....?HOW MUCH DO I HAVE?
IN LOVING MEMORY
AMBER MARIE ROSE
OCTOBER 3 1988 - JULY 29 2005 |
|
|
| "THE ANTHEM" I NEED HELP WITH A TITLE(HELP ME SARAH PLEASE <3) |
[Jun. 1st, 2006|05:25 pm] |
this place holds memories for me.i always dreamed
of getting out.but now that i'm gone.i want to go
back home.those four walls felt like a prison cell.
everynight was another nightmare for me to behold.
i was living a lie.without a tear in my eye.
*this is a ballad for everyone.a song
about moving on.i always dreamt about
getting out.but now that were gone we
feel so alone*
when the speeches are read.and the boxes are packed.
it's time to leave this place.when we drive down our
driveway and wave goodbye to our friends.pretty soon
we will relize just how much we will miss it.soon this
place will be nothing but a distant memory.now we've
done our time and it's time to move on.it's time to
start over.but never forget the loves and the losses
because they'll never forget you.
chorus 1x
this is a song about moving on in life.and it is for the class of 06.i wrote it today JUNE 1ST 2006 because i was feeling down because i should have graduated today but thats to long of a story to go on about so i hope you enjoyed it and hopefully it will get recorded soon. peace <3 |
|
|
| TOO LATE |
[May. 22nd, 2006|10:51 pm] |
WHAT WILL THE PAPERS READ.ON THIS RAINY MONDAY MORNING?
WHEN WE READ THE HEADLINES,THE SHOCK WILL BLEED OUR LUNGS DRY.
WHEN THE PAIN FINALLY SETTLES IN.IT WILL BE TO LATE.
TO LATE,TO SAVE THE WAYWARD ONE.
TO LATE TO SAVE THEM.HIM AND HER.
TO LATE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
THEIR DREAMS SHATTERD IN A TOWER OF FLAMES.
AND TRUST IN OTERS DEMINISHED.
TO LATE TO SAVE THEM.HIM AND HER.
AN ASPHALT GRAVEYARD.IN A BIG CITY SCAPE.
LEFT BY THE SEA.THIS WAS ALWAYS HER DREAM.
THE SALT BURNS OUR EYES TODAY.ON THIS FATFUL
SATURDAY MORNING.LEFT IN THE WAKE OF OUR BIGGEST MISTAKE.
CHORUS 1X
WHAT WILL THE PAPERS READ.ON THIS RAINY MONDAY MORNING? |
|
|
| LOCK AN LOAD(MY BODY DROPS) |
[May. 22nd, 2006|10:45 pm] |
SO LOCK AND LOAD
AND WATCH ME DROP.
JUST PULL THE TRIGGER.
AND WE CAN MAKE ALL THIS PAIN END.
WITH THESE SWIFT WORDS.
AND WITH THESE QUICK ACTIONS.
NO MORE REGRETS.NO MORE POISON THOUGHTS.
EACH THOUGHT,MORE VIVID THAN THAN THE LAST.
NO MORE REGRETS,NO MORE APOLIGIES.EACH BULLET
STAINED WITH OUR BLOOD FOR A REASON.
SO LOCK AND LOAD.
AND WATCH THE BLOOD JUST POUR.
FROM THESE OPEN WOUNDS.
WE'LL BLEED.
FROM THESE OPEN WOUNDS......
SO LOCK AND LOAD
LOCK AND LOAD!!!!
JUST PULL THE TRIGGER.
AND MY HEART WILL STOP.
JUST PULL THE TRIGGER.
AND MY BODY WILL DROP.
NO MORE REGRETS.NO MORE POISON THOUGHTS.
EACH THOUGHT,MORE VIVID THAN THAN THE LAST.
NO MORE REGRETS,NO MORE APOLIGIES.EACH BULLET
STAINED WITH OUR BLOOD FOR A REASON. |
|
|
| DEAD |
[May. 22nd, 2006|07:10 pm] |
AND
THEY
WILL
FIND
ME
HANGING!!!!!! |
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anxious